Today, I've been thinking of the great people who are gone - Muhammad Ali is gone. Shuucks!! So are Myles Monroe, PRINCE and many who have left indelible marks in their niche. You start to realise...DANG! Everyone is going to die mehn... Someday! No matter how great they are. Whoosh!
This shit will go down 6 feet under. We all will. That's a definite (nothing to be scared of there) - But WAIT a sec! Not everyone is going to LIVE! Geez!
And as I wrote in my latest book UNCOVERED. If you THINK about it, you'll realise how much impact some of these great people have had on the rest of the world, not without having their FEARS, limitations, flaws or personal challenges but they still went on to LIVE and DOMINATE - No excuses! And they will forever be remembered. Oh, Yeaaa! You Betcha!!
So I want to ask. If you DIE today - God Forbid! Will you be remembered?
By who? Your family? -(the ones you have a bad relationship with), Your Friends? - (Wait! The ones you betrayed and barely have?),
Your Church? - (Oh! They are too busy celebrating Jesus and Pastor XYZ, sorry brother), Your Community? (You didn't give a rat ass about them, why should they care you are gone), Society? - (Sorry Miss, No one even knew you existed).
God? (Oh no! I can't speak on his behalf --- But, I think you gats to be bloody MEMORABLE for you to stick out so BRIGHTLY out of his "billions" of children)
How will you be remembered, my friend? The lady who did nothing but take a million selfies a day? The man who BROKE many hearts. The father who never CARED for his children? The wife who was never around for her husband? The CREATIVE who stole another person's work of Art? The LIAR who's worse than a thief? The rich who stole from the poor? The leech who feasted on the enterprising? Or the person who INSPIRED manyyyyy? Ha!
Which one are YOU?
So, are you really LIVING or just merely existing? Is your PRESENCEworth much to others? Or are you just taking up SPACE and pretty much going with the flow? If you die, will the world celebrate you or will you just be another statistic?
Oh, I know you are going to die someday (that's not in question) - but wait, what are you going to do to LIVE?
What are you going to do to truly make your stay here on earth count for something way deeper than just yourself?
Here Are 7 Ways To Live A Life Worth Something...#1) Focus on the Big Picture, Without Taking Your Eyes Off The Small One
Yes, we all have great big plans for things we want to ACCOMPLISH. Sometimes, we get consumed by chasing them or frightened by how big they are - That we forget to celebrate the small things we achieve. Yes! Its important not to take your eyes off those big goals, but the only way to truly do that, is to really concentrate on all the little things you can do, the tiny choices you can make and all the small steps you can take, to move you closer and closer to that goal, so you can fit in, all the small pieces to create your AWESOME big picture.#2) Live In The REAL World
Some of the biggest issues we encounter daily are mostly connected to unrealistic expectations, people have about Love, Life, Career, Money, Spirituality and even Relationships. Many are not in touch with themselves and their TRUTH, neither do they have a presence of mind. We oftentimes, lie to ourselves and create a false reality that stifles our own GROWTH, so much so we even dislike those who keep it real.
Being imperfect, having flaws, challenges and embarrassing moments are only part of living. Even the greatest have had their fair dose of reality bite.
I'm always amazed at people who want to live on earth like they are in heaven (that's not to say we shouldn't aspire for more). But just imagine how UNHAPPY a person who lives above their means must truly feel (irrespective of the glamour they present), even Jesus Christ didn't act like he expected some beautiful maid angel-servants to tend to his every need here on earth, despite being the son of God.
He didn't prance around like I imagine he possibly could in heaven. Instead, he became MAN and truly lived in every way, like one of us.#3) Live Your Dreams By Conquering Your FEARS
Oh Gosh! I don't know if there's anything I have ever attempted without a little bit of fear in my heart. The first time I fell in love. I was SCARED to death of all the emotions I was feeling.
Or was it the first time I stood in front of a camera in 2005 and recited a monologue. Geez! I probably peed a thousand times, out of sheer embarrassment - in fact, I was afraid for the first 3 and half years of my career as an Actress. Why? Don't you sometimes dislike the idea of re-enacting scenarios, your real-life self is wayyyy too smart or too proud to be caught doing. Like when you have to fart, steal in a movie scene or play some dumb airhead beauty. Whew! You dig?
Sometimes, I just felt so silly talking to myself and trying to observe the faces of the other actors and crew watching me. How does my mouth shape, when I talk? - Lord! They are so freaking wide when I smile. Is that a wrinkle forming on my forehead? Twitching... Twitching... Oh! What if I kiss this actor and he suddenly leaves a bucket of sloppy saliva in my mouth. Yuck!! Nooooo! Ewww...Hahahah.
The first song I ever wrote, my best friend's elder brother - Ajiri teased and teased us to tears. When I think about it now, that song was ridiculous. "Oh, we called it STRANGERS" I swear, I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that song with my underground teenage girl band - THE ALTERNATES, but you know what? 48 songs after that, I'm definitely not a corny songwriter. Neither am I a terrible radio host, or a bad actor, despite my first few hiccups which resulted from fear.
Even now, as confident as I've become...I still have moments of FEAR. Days, when I'm sweating profusely wondering if I can provide for my son, days when I'm thinking a man only wants me for what he can get out of me or even when I put together powerful projects like my July event - THE NAKED CHALLENGE Creative Mastery Global Summit with 25 Creative Influencers from around the world - I'll be honest. I don't think anyone based in Nigeria has ever attempted this. Hosting A LIVE Internet Conference with 25 Speakers around the world. What for?
So yes, I ask myself if I'm okay...Perhaps! Remember, my First Anniversary Celebration on THE NAKED TALK with 16 guests? This right here is 50 times more stressful. So, I wonder if I'm normal for attempting to do everything by myself, including designing the webpage Do you think I'm not scared? Do you think it hasn't crossed my mind that it could ALL turn out worse than I planned?
Do you think I don't worry about failing the speakers and everyone else who has high expectations...Oh Lordyyy Lord! I Do! But I'll rather give it my best shot and FAIL at it, than not attempt to try at all.
And every day, as I go...I'm discovering new things about myself, about this journey and loving the excitement of potential success.#4) Be The Lover, Not A Fighter
Oh, I had to learn this one the hard way. I had to learn to try to do everything and speak always from a position of love. The truth is that LOVE colours everything, It gives everything you do so much more meaning and life becomes beautiful. To be able to love others in spite of their filthy heart or bad intentions. To cook with the purest love, eat with love, mingle and just GIVE and keep giving all the LOVE we can muster.
Imagine everyone speaking at your funeral about how sweet and LOVING you were.
There you go... That's why we are here. That's why we were CREATED. We were created to love.#5) Please...Don't Over Complicate Things
So an old friend and I had been interacting for some weeks. Truth is, I find him interesting but I really can't say there's any more to it, for now... even though he always tries to get me to confess an emotion I'm CLEARLY, not sure I feel yet. I have tried to explain that I am not the type to deny something I feel If I do feel it. But he does think otherwise because he thinks I might STILL be stinging from a bad relationship and may have put up a wall. Ding! Ding! Ding! Thing is, I feel like he needs ME to admit my feelings, so he can feel comfortable doing the same. But that's the problem, you can't hold back your feelings because you think the other person is doing the same - or EXPRESS it only when the other person does/ or is willing to. That's just so damn complex - Why be so complicated?
Okay! I've heard his theory a few times, about this so-called invisible wall (which is honestly a figment of their imagination - I guess sometimes people will rather prefer you were hurting than to believe that you just don't care) and that's where so many people are wrong. Yes, I've had a few not-so-great relationships, but I can tell you that with all the lessons learned - there are no more ghosts in my past. No exes hanging over my head or thoughts...And I certainly have no qualms with LOVING someone, if I find a good man truly WORTH loving.
Yes! My standards may have changed, my perception of love may be different, (oh sure, you have to give me good reasons why you should be worth my time, and why I should be afraid to lose you), other than that, I'm still the same ole Love Bunny Alex - Why the need to over complicate things?
Sometimes, I get asked weird questions from different people? Oh, Alex, when are you coming around my neighborhood? When are you going to be in this part of town? Why haven't I heard from you? Why don't you understand how I feel? Last I remember, I'm not a mind reader (if you don't express how you feel and EXPLAIN to me...how am I supposed to understand? Err... If you didn't hear from me, then why didn't you call me? I mean, I could have been dying or been in a hospital too...yeah, yeah, yeah... I could possibly tell you when next I would be in your neighborhood - except, if you are not the one inviting me - then it's probably not to see you. Hahaha...Yeah! It's not like I just roam around town for no good reason?)
So most times, I'm stuck thinking...Wouldn't it have been much easier for these person(s) to simply Invite Me (Hey Alex, I would love for you to come around), Call Me (I was thinking about you, thought to call you), or (I haven't heard from you, I was worried) or Share how they feel (This is how I feel Alex, you hurt my feelings) or (I love you)? Isn't it just way easier to be direct and straight forward? If you want to do something just go ahead and do it. Don't complicate things. Don't over think it.
Don't live your life suppressing all your feelings and over analysing all your thoughts. If YOU are
Missing Somebody?..... Call!
Want To Meet Up?..... Invite!
Want to Be Understood?.... Explain!
Have Questions?.... Ask!
Don't Like Something?.... Say It!
Like Something?.... State It!
Want Something?.... Ask For It!
Love Someone?.... Show It!#6) Sometimes, You Have To Let Go to Hold On
Oh, it's hard not to live in this world without feeling grudges. Geez! People sure know how to take a piss. But still, imagine you holding on to every single WRONG thing a family, friend, colleague and maybe even society has done to hurt you, upset you or frustrate you. Not only would you be burning your bridges, but you would be living a life filled with BITTERNESS & ANGER. And that sure is a recipe for disaster.
I have learned, that sometimes you win by letting go. Instead, let it go by channeling that pain into PASSION. Show them that they may have tried to bend you, but they could NEVER break you.#7) GIVE To Others - Knowing That Giving Is A Measure of Greatness
What do you have in abundance? Ideas? Money? Knowledge? Experience? Time? Skills? Affection? Wisdom? Talent? Connection? Find a way to GIVE it and just keep Giving.
Look at those who have inspired you, you will see a consistently unique trait they all have, they were all philanthropic in many ways. From Mother Theresa to Oprah, Michael Jackson, Mohammed Ali, Ellen Degeneres, Bill Gates...Name them. These people gave not only their money but their time, knowledge and resources. They were never afraid to share all of life's experiences with others.
Are you someone who is afraid to share your knowledge with the world? Do you hoard information? Suppress your Gift/Talent or even Keep your connections hidden or undisclosed. You are doing yourself a disservice. If there's anything I personally enjoy, It's bringing people together and connecting them to add VALUE to one another.
Remember, that no one ever forgets those who give to them when they need it. Sometimes, it could just be a shoulder to cry on, kind words, a big hug or a warm smile. Only GREAT people know how to dig into themselves and pull out something worth giving.
So what are you going to do to start living a LIFE worth something? Which of these are you yet to embrace. Do let me know.