As a woman who loves men, I can tell you that men are very interesting, to watch from the sidelines. When a man falls in love, he falls HARD - he trips, crawls and even runs straight into the woman's arms...but when he "grows to love"...He does everything in his power to fight the feeling - EVERYTHING!! Even when he thinks he isn't...
Do you see the logic here?? He can't fight an accident. Because when he "falls"...the adrenaline is so high...he mistakes that gold rush for something deeper. But he can surely RESIST the calmness and consistency of Growth...it's boring...too organic and not loud enough for him to realise its impact. Yet, that's what real love is.
Those who can tell the difference - know you don't fall in love. You actually grow to love. And for something to GROW. It requires constant nourishment and nurturing over TIME - Perhaps why many subconsciously want to fall in love with their best friends - But they never consciously do.
Oh no! Because you can't simply "fall" for someone you know so damn well, someone you know their weaknesses, FLAWS, and imperfections. Instead, you grow to accept them, appreciate them and love them as they are. That takes time and honestly, that's the most real - most enduring and meaningful way to love another being because your friendship has been tried and tested.
You know what it feels like to have them around, with all the boundaries & restrictions...And you know when you want to break down that fence once and for all, and CLIMB over those walls that restrict you from making them feel the burn of your love, to the core of their being, as you infect his/her spirit until their soul is so freaking warm. 💜.
The choices you make are intentional... Deliberate and Conscious. Nothing is a Mistake- It's not an Accident. It's not like falling. Falling only happens with strangers. That incessant tripping of LUST in spite of yourself. Something you didn't expect to happen.
And when you FALL...you suddenly try to make this stranger, your best friend, your everything in hopes ... That you both can GROW and build together. You suddenly start to learn what they are about. And even compromise your standards.
Don't forget you fell badly. You are prancing on a bad foot, with bruises, your ego is splattered...You will take anything you get. In fact, you will convince yourself, that everything the other person offers is what you have often dreamed of. They are your dream come true - because nothing they offer you is based on any sort of reality. It's in the air - and your head is in the cloud because you think 20 years from now you'll still be flat on your back from that perfect fall. Pretty much the reverse of how it really is with growing in love. And that's why it almost never lasts.
For everyone who trips or falls will someday "get up", dust themselves and realise - that the RUSH is in fact only a mirage. TIME always proves it.
I know this...I have fallen many a times...and today as I grow to love in a completely different way - Trust me, I pretty much know the difference.
To Your Greatness,
Stay Authentic & Keep Winning!
- Alex Okoroji